Sam's 4th Birthday Cupcakes

I baked these cupcakes for my son's 4th birthday last month. I've mentioned before that I have 2 sons, but they aren't with me. I don't talk about them on here a whole lot because this blog is a cheerful place and I use it to share photos and recipes, not to talk about my personal life. Just thinking about my boys makes my heart sing and I am so proud to be their mother, but the fact that they died is sad and I understand why others wouldn't want to read about them all the time. I love Sam and Jack with all my heart but I don't want to be a downer so when I want to talk about them and their memory I talk about them on my other blog. Still, today I needed to talk about my first born, Sam, so I hope you'll stick around for a bit. I don't write about them so you'll feel sorry for me, I write about them because they are my children.

On August 15th, my Sam would have been 4 years old. It seems like just yesterday he was born and other times it seems that this has been my reality for an eternity. Both Sam and Jack were born still in the second trimester 6 months apart. I have a weak cervix and it gave out under the weight of the babies, which caused them to be born early. They were fully formed babies, just too little to live outside the womb. I never got to bring them home, sing them lullabies or nurse their wounds, but I can parent them the only way I know how. One of my jobs as their mother is to make their birthdays special.

This year for Sam's birthday, the in-laws came over, we went to dinner and we had a balloon release. I also made these hummingbird cupcakes with mascarpone frosting. I wanted something that a 4 year old would actually eat and enjoy so I went for a moist fruit filled cupcake and a light and fluffy, but not too sweet frosting. I've made Hummingbird Cake before, but I didn't want too much cake leftover so I halved the recipe and baked them into cupcakes. I have to thank Maranda for reminding me how good this cake is. It's not too dense, but it is a substantial cake. It's sweet from the crushed pineapple and mashed bananas so I opted for a fluffy mascarpone mousse-like frosting rather than cream cheese icing. The combination really was nice and I can only hope that Sam would have liked them as much as we did.

Hummingbird Cupcakes adapted from Paula Deen

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• 1 1/2 cups self-rising flour
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 6 Tbsp. vegetable oil
• 1/2 cup finely chopped pecans
• 1 very ripe large banana, mashed
• 4 ounces (1/2 cup) crushed pineapple, with juice
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 2 large eggs, beaten

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Line 15 cupcake indentions with liners.

In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, oil, pecans, bananas, pineapple, vanilla, cinnamon and eggs. Stir well with a spoon until the batter is smooth.

Divide the batter evenly amongst 15 lined cupcake indentions, filling about 2/3 full. Bake for 22-26 minutes or until the tops spring back and are golden. Cool in the tins for 10 minutes then remove and place on a wire rack til completely cool.

Makes about 15 cupcakes.

Mascarpone Frosting from JustJENN Recipes

• 8 ounces mascarpone cheese
• 1 cup powdered sugar
• pinch of salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

In a medium bowl combine mascarpone cheese, sugar, salt and vanilla. Stir together until smooth, and set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer beat whipping cream until stiff peaks form – don’t overdo it, the last thing you want is for it to curdle.

Fold the whipped cream, into the mascarpone mixture until combined.

Pipe or spoon a generous amount onto cooled cupcake.

Makes enough to generously frost about 18-20 cupcakes.

NOTE: I used pecan halves and candied pineapple for garnish.

Happy birthday my sweet boy!