Saturday, September 10, 2011

A Baby Is Born, Then He Goes Home

Time on the computer is limited. I wanted to update before now, but washing bottles, feeding my baby, changing diapers, doing laundry and holding that sweet boy of mine are priority one. So I'm copy and pasting this from my other blog. If you read both of them, please pardon the duplication.

Here I am just 2 days before giving birth to Hayden. I already miss being pregnant. I know that may sound crazy, but I do. This pregnancy was taxing, but I wouldn't have traded the experience for anything. Well, obviously, I traded the pregnancy in for the baby, but you know what I mean. I just miss the bond we shared together- his movements, his kicks, the waddling, the cravings :-). I'd much rather have him here than to be pregnant, but I miss that and it was over so quickly. I was just telling my doctor I needed a transition period between being pregnant and bringing him home. It's so different, even though I'm caring for the same child.

Arriving at the hospital at 7am. My doctors office is right across the street behind that sign. It was a privilege parking there.

The c-section went very quickly. We arrived at 7 and got prepped. We were to head back to the OR at 9am, but we were ahead of the schedule by about 30 minutes, so I went back early. I wish I could have slowed everything down, as it just went by so fast. Thinking back now, I wish I could have rubbed my belly one last time too.

My friend Lori was allowed in the OR to photograph his birth. I'm so glad my doctor allowed that because I know I'll treasure those photos forever. So much was going on and it happened so fast I don't remember all of it. I fully expected the procedure to take longer than it did. It seems like I was in there on the table getting prepped then 5 minutes later he was being pulled out of me. I wasn't sure how I'd react, but once I heard his cry it became so real. It's almost like I was still expecting things to go wrong. He was alive and crying and it just seemed so surreal. At this point, I felt like I was dreaming.

At birth, Hayden weighed 6 pounds 11 ounces, but when we left the hospital he was about 6 pounds, 3 ounces. He's been eating well, though breast feeding has been a challenge. Once I started pumping, I started producing more but he refuses my breast. I think it's because eating from the bottle comes much easier and he doesn't have to work for it. He's a lazy (but eager) eater! I'd love to breast feed, but at this point I'm just glad that I'm able to feed him breast milk rather than formula. There's nothing wrong with formula feeding, but they gave him some at the hospital because he was "jittery" and it didn't settle well with his stomach- he spit it up about 4 different times.

Going home- This is when it started to feel real! Watching Mr. H put him into the car seat and load him into our vehicle brought tears to my eyes. Though it's something I always hoped for, I never thought it would happen. It wasn't until the night before that we actually put the carseat into our car. To do it any sooner was almost like a jinx.

But we made it home. Once we got through the doors, I lost it. Our baby was finally home where he belonged. Heck, I'm crying now! It seems like I am crying everyday now. Sometimes for no reason at all, and others because I'm just so grateful and amazed by him. Seriously, I just can't believe where we are today. I thank God everyday for him. He really is a miracle baby. And I have to remind myself of that when I'm completely exhausted at 3 am and have to get up to change his diaper and he poops on me (like he did last night). Totally worth it.

Here is when he met Autumn for the first time. So far she has been wonderful. She is just curious and wants to sniff him. She doesn't appear to be jealous of him- it's almost like she knows how special he is to us and is just as accepting. She even gets up with me at night for feeding and changings. Then we all go back to bed. She's a good hairy big sister.

Just look at that sweet nose and those lips...I am completely and entirely in love. Yes, it's hard and it's an adjustment, but it's all we've ever wanted. I don't know why Sam and Jack were not given the same chance at life, but I know deep in my heart that he was sent to us from them. He's the best of both Mr. H and I and even more perfect than I could have ever imagined.

High blood pressure, protein in my urine, 4 night stays in the hospital, bloating, discomfort, mood swings, 4-hour glucose tests, the Trisomy scare, sleepless nights and indigestion- looking at that face makes all those troubles melt away and nothing else matters.

66 comments:

Kruger Life said...

YEA, CONGRATS...HE IS SOOO BEAUTIFUL!!

I ENDED UP PUMPING WITH MY FIRST SON FOR 7 MONTHS AND HE JUST DRANK MY MILK FROM A BOTTLE...WORKED GREAT! I KEPT MY PUMPING TIPS AND EMAIL THEM TO MY NEW MOMMY FRIENDS SOMETIMES, SO IF YOU'RE INTERESTED I CAN EMAIL THEM TO YOU?!!

ENJOY YOUR LITTLE BUBBA!!

ButterYum said...

Oh my... Hayden is the cutest thing ever! And look at the smiles on you and Mr. H's faces... I'm so happy for you guys! Don't worry about the crying... your hormones are still out of whack, but they' go back to normal in time. Enjoy your new routine - before you know it he'll be a teen and you'll cry for other reasons ;).

Abby said...

C. was almost as early as Hayden, and he had trouble latching, too. I think it's common when they're early like that. (H. didn't have any trouble this time. That's how it goes!) He's adorable, and I'm SO happy for you! (And the crying? Almost three months in this time for me. I cried today at a silly FESTIVAL. Hormones. Eh.)

Jen said...

I am so happy for you and I just loved following your pregnancy (and your great food) on your amazing blog! Congratulations!

the wild magnolia said...

I cannot do justice to his handsome self, or my joy for the gift to you and your husband.

May the best of everything, settle always in your lives.

Thank you, for taking time, amid your very busy life to share.

Jean said...

I am so glad everything went well. He's a darling little thing and you are going to be a great mommy! I think we have a great daddy there too. Enjoy this boy!

Nora said...

He's Beautiful - don't give up on the pumping for the following reasons:
Formula is disgusting.
You know exactly how much he's getting by putting it in a bottle.
You can pretend to sleep in the middle of the night and Dad can feed him ;)
My 14-year old gets a sniffle once a year for a day and a half and the formula fed boy has seasonal allergies and food allergies and has a cold 4/month.
Please don't give up.
All the best if you've read this far.
Nora

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

He is so precious. I am thankful that he is safe at home and in your arms.ENJOY!!!

Widge said...

Congratulations! He is absolutely beautiful!!!!! (and that's for REAL, you just can't say that about all babies straight after birth ;)He is Lovely. What gorgeous lips and wow so alert!
enjoy this special time x

Julie @ Willow Bird Baking said...

He is just gorgeous, Monica!! Congratulations!

Julie said...

I know you know this, but he is SO beautiful :) I'm still so tickled for you. I know you didn't ask for advice, but don't stress the breastfeeding thing. I tried to breastfeed my son for 7 months, and he just never got it (even with lactation specialist's help). Wish I'd quit after pumping for him 1 or 2 months and saved all the stress.

Jennifer said...

OK, now you've got me crying! Congrats! He is just beautiful. It sounds like you are all adjusting well. The first few weeks are especially hard. I never anticipated the hormonal/emotional roller coaster, but know that it gets easier. You'll feel like old pros in no time at all! I'm so thrilled that you've finally been blessed with your miracle baby.

Kathy said...

Oh he is adorable. Congrats. Suck it all in because it all goes by too fast.

Deceptively Educational said...

Reading this gave me goosebumps and made me teary at the same time. Reminds me of when my two boys were born. I might be a total stranger to you, but my heart is bursting with joy for you and your husband. Your new son is truly a gift! Congrats!

From the Kitchen said...

Monica: He is, quite simply, precious! That photo of him and his dad gazing into each other's eyes is priceless! Hold Hayden close whenever you want. Pick him up when he doesn't even need to be picked up. Snuggle him! Cuddle him! Enjoy him!

Best,
Bonnie

Melissa said...

congratulations! he is so adorable. those little ones are always worth the effort it takes to get them here. so happy for you. enjoy every minute.

A Feast for the Eyes said...

My facial muscles hurt, from smiling. I do know how much grief and sadness you felt, when you so desperately wanted to be a mom. California is too far away to pop in and visit you. Thank you for making us feel as though we were right there with you. I loved being pregnant, too. I loved every moment of raising my son. I know you are in-love. Congrats to you and Mr. H. Such lovely photos. Enjoy the years, because I'd give anything to have my precious son return to being that sweet and innocent baby. It's wonderful.
Love you!

All Things Yummy said...

congratulations on your baby boy. He's just precious.

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

This is the only blog post I've read today. I just had this feeling I wanted to check on you and you have me crying and smiling at the same time. He is so beautiful and I remember feeling the same way after waiting 9 years to give birth (although I didn't miss being pregnant at all)! He is just beautiful and I am so very thrilled for all of you. I can't wait to watch him grow through your pictures. Congrats to all!

Memória said...

I feel so lucky and proud to say that I was able to hold Hayden, take 1,000,000 photos of him and record him crying and cooing. He is GORGEOUS!! And you know I mean that haha. Yes, I am hooked on Hayden (ooo alliteration! that should be slogan or shirt idea!). Anyway, I don't think hormones are the only thing making you cry, because I cried more than once through your pregnancy and after because I'm so happy for you all haha. He is truly a blessing. Keep enjoying your time with him before he is able to crawl, walk, and then talk haha. I look forward to seeing Haydencito muy pronto. ¡Cuídense!

Brooke said...

Could hardly read the end through my tears. So happy for you and the best bit is how darn happy you look in the photos. True miracle!

Pumping and bottle feeding is a tough road. It's taken me two babies to realise that my babies were not ready for breast feeding - both were too small and acting like premmie babies when it came to feeding. I have found that having different textures for bottle teat (silicone) and dummy (latex) kept my latest little man a little less fussy when it came to finally attaching to the breast. 3 months on I can breast feed for some feeds. Hope that helps you a little.

Coleen said...

Your story is so precious and real; all of us mom's can totally identify with every word. The things that you are feeling are classic new mom feelings. I'm so happy for you all.

L.C. said...

Thank you, for sharing your wonderful experience with us. I feel in some small was as though I've been a part of you and Mr. H's extraordinary adventure! I love the photos and your reportage!
Mr. H get ready for little league, baseball, football, soccer, etc. LOL Mama get ready for baking for the teams not to mention birtdays at school. LOL
Enjoy your God given buddle of joy mama and papa! Thank you, baby boy for sharing mama and papa and hairy big sister.

Jessy said...

Hoooooooraaayyyyyyyyy! He's gorgeous, like his gorgeous parents :) I can't even begin to understand all of the emotions you're feeling after the loss of Sam & Jack but I'm so very happy for you. I appreciate the glimpse into your life, that you've shared recipes as well as happiness and sadness. Congrats on the new addition & much love to all of you!!

Future Grown-Up said...

Monica, I am so happy for you, Mr. H and Hayden. Hayden is a blessed baby to have two of the very best and wonderful parents!

girls who like to gorge said...

He's so beautiful, huge congratulations :D xxx

Julia said...

congratulations to your beautiful baby boy. sure enough, i am still pregnant and read your story tearing up and all. i am very happy for you!

Haden News said...

Congratulations!! He is beautiful and I love his name :-) My daughter has a 6 month old named Haden (her maiden name) my last name. Enjoy this new journey in life.

oneordinaryday said...

<3
Sending that sweet babe and his mama much love.

Keeley said...

Congratulations, again! Mr. H looks so proud in those photos!

Just so you know, I've been rooting for you from Delaware all along! So happy for you!

girlichef said...

He is pure love. xo

Tia said...

congrats!!! he is lovely and your post is beautiful.

Rainy Day Farm said...

Congrats on your bundle of joy, he is truly beautiful. Good luck with the nursing, but you are not alone in not being able to have that experience with your child, and it does not make you less of a mother. I too had the same problem an I and my kids have lived to tell he tale.
Good luck with motherhood, the crying will stop when your hormones settle down. Vitamin B helps a ton.

I was so excited to you see you become a mother. I always thought you would be a great one. Best of luck with this new chapter in your life.

Heather said...

Congratulations!! He is so precious! Try to remember these days as much as you can because they slip away so fast.

cathy said...

I am so happy to hear that you are both home and healthy. You're one of my favorite foodie bloggers, and your previous struggles weighed heavily on my heart for you. So happy your miracle baby is here and doing so well!

warmvanillasugar said...

Your baby is lovely. So precious. Congrats to you and your hubby!

Becky said...

Monica, I'm so happy for you guys that I started crying looking at your boy's pics. He's beautiful.

Nonna Beach said...

Beautiful post Monica ! God bless you and your sweet little family...your post has reminded me of many of the same feelings I had bringing each one of our babies home...wonderful !!!

Bailie said...

Congratulations!! I exclusively pumped w/ my youngest son for 4 months and just now ran out of breast milk that I was able to freeze and he is 6 months! Breast/bottle make no difference as long as he is getting it, in my opinion!!! He sure is handsome!

Cassie said...

He's so beautiful. I'm just happy for all of you! I'm so glad things are going so well!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations upon the birth of your sweet & lovely baby boy...I have followed your blog and I am so happy that he is healthy and you & your hubby are too.sweet heaven on earth..congrats again..mjs from the 'couv

Donna said...

Congrats on your beautiful son!

Pink Little Cake said...

OMG the baby is so adorable. Congratulations Monica, I am so happy that everything went well.
I breast feed my little girl for 4 months, pumping and bottle feeding is hard. It took the baby quite a while to get use to the breast because the bottle was earlier for her, but finally we made it.

Good luck.

Christine said...

Congratulations. Your post had me crying like a baby. What a blessing to bring into your family.

We had trouble nursing at first too. I highly recommend seeing a lactation consultant. Ours got me started with an SNS and it got us past those initial troubles and turned my daughter into a breastfeeding champ.

The Captain's Daughter said...

You deserve this! You deserved it before and you deserve it now. ENJOY HIM!!

N'awlins Darlin' said...

Oh so happy for you!! Congratulations! He is precious.

Madzie said...

I just found your blog and it is amazing. I love to bake as well and I am so excited to try as many as your recipes as I can.

Congratulations on your precious little angel.

Madzie

multiculturalmelbourne.com said...

Ohhh what a little spunk!! Congratulations :)

Amber said...

Oh My Goodnes, isn't he just beyond ADORABLE!!! I love that you kept Autumn, I have heard SO many people say they're pregnant, they have to get rid of the dog. Personally, Our beagle boy loves our son, and they are inseparable! Just wait...we're potty training, and they other day I asked my son why he didn't tell me he had to poopy in the potty instead of the diaper, and he said "The doggy did it." It's so hard to keep a straight face sometimes!

Anna said...

Monica, it's been AGES since I've been by, but what better a post to see first! A million congratulations on your beautiful, sweet, perfect baby boy. I am thrilled for you and your little miracle. xo

From the Kitchen said...

What? You don't have time to blog? = ) I forgive you as long as you are getting snuggles in and promise to post photos on a fairly regular basis!! ENJOY!

Best,
Bonnie

Brownieville Girl said...

congratulations - delighted you have him home safe and sound :-}}

The Captain's Daughter said...

Okay missy! Baby born, check! Baby home, check! COME BACK TO YOUR BLOG! We are (long) overdue for a photo of the nursery with baby in it! :)

ENJOY your time with him, and I do hope you're healing and feeling well... But come out to play with your blogger friends soon!

Kerstin said...

Such great pictures, I'm so happy for you :)

Robin Sue said...

I cried all the time too with my first, then I would laugh and say, "I don't even know why I am crying but I can't stop." It's all normal. Has something to do with being completely and utterly in love!! He is precious, so happy for you and Mr. H. What a lovely little miracle!

Mona said...

Adorable!!!! Enjoy that little man : )

Nikki Pastorel-Deles said...

CONGRATULATIONS! LOVELY FAMILY!!! :) I wish I could have a baby soon too!

Monique said...

Congrats to you both! I am in tears as I am reading this, since I know the hardships you have faced. I am so happy for you and that is one lucky baby, to have such a wonderful mommy who will have many yummy treats for him!

Lamchops said...

Congratulations! Just soak up every moment with that little guy. He will change sooo fast. Good luck with the nursing. Nothing prepares you for that kind of craziness. Just try to not let anything that people say think that you are doing anything wrong. Do what works for YOU.

Jessie said...

Congratualtions! Babies are a real blessing. They teach you so many things about yourself and make you want to make the world a better place! He is beautiful! We had a baby girl July 7th, also a c-section, and you are right it went so fast! Enjoy...because before you know it he will be sassing at you and telling you like it is. (My 3 year old does that now and I miss him being a sweet little baby! ha!)

Brandy L said...

The biggest congrats to you and your husband! Hayden is the most handsome little boy! You have the most precious gift and being a mother is the most wonderful feeling in the world! Enjoy every minute of it!

Natasha @ Saved by the Egg Timer said...

I love that you shared your story with us! I am so happy for you!! Being pregnant really is one of the best things ever, even with all the challenges and obviously so worth it :) Congrats on your precious baby boy. Truly precious.

mega said...

MUCHAS FELICIDADES PARA EL HERMOSO BEBE QUE DIOS TE LO COLME DE BENDICIONES Y A TODA TU HERMOSA FAMILIA

Treehouse Chef said...

I'm soooooo happy for you both! Hayden is a beautiful baby!!!!!!!

Kathy said...

Love the updates and pics of Hayden!!! I'm right there with ya sista - Kelbi, our half Shitzu and half Bichon gets up with me and my baby girl all throughout the night too!!! It's so cute - true doggie love!!! I'm so happy for you <3

Ashley said...

Congrats, mommy!! He's beautiful! This post was wonderful - it brought tears to my eyes. I can't wait to meet my little one in a few weeks :)

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